If you've already spent time in
Steelport, you know that it's a place where an enterprising gang leader
can earn cash and respect by chauffeuring tigers around, protecting
friends from attack while perched in a helicopter with a rocket
launcher, laying waste to city blocks with a tank, and participating in
all sorts of other activities. Genki Bowl VII, the first mission pack
add-on for Saints Row: The Third, brings four new activity types to the
smorgasbord of mayhem and violence that is Steelport. Unfortunately,
only one of these new pursuits measures up to the inspired zaniness
typified by the activities included in the original game. Genki Bowl VII
is a slight piece of downloadable content that mostly feels downright
mundane compared to everything that came before.
Professor
Genki, the homicidal man-cat whose Super Ethical Reality Climax
competitions are a staple of the Steelport entertainment scene, ups the
ante once a year, devising deadly new contests for a select group of
proven warriors. As the leader of the Saints, you're given the
opportunity to enter this annual tournament and prove yourself worthy of
being crowned Genki Bowl champion.
Story
is a minor part of this escapade, and laughs are in short supply. There
are a few cutscenes in which returning commentators Zach and Bobby set
up the events you're about to participate in, but the main game's
hilarious scenes featuring your customized character engaging in the
business of ruling a gang while naked and speaking in a zombie voice (or
sporting whatever absurd characteristics you've selected for him or
her) are sadly absent. Without these spirited interludes and the humor
they inject into the proceedings, the events of Genki Bowl VII feel a
bit lifeless and isolated from the rest of your character's adventures
in Steelport.
Your
participation in Genki Bowl VII begins with an event called Genki
Apocalypse. In Genki Apocalypse, you're tossed into a booby-trapped,
mascot-infested gauntlet, in which you must kill your enemies and make
your way to the exit alive. If you think this sounds an awful lot like
the Super Ethical Reality Climax events you've already played, you're
not wrong. The only things that differentiate Genki Apocalypse from SERC
are the amusingly cheap jungle set dressings that decorate the obstacle
courses, and the shark-infested pools and streams within them. The
first time you see a mascot wander into water and instantly get devoured
by a great white, it's a delightful surprise that's perfectly in
keeping with the cartoonish carnage that helps make Saints Row: The
Third so exciting.
But
as amusing as this little touch is, it can't keep Genki Apocalypse from
feeling like more of something we got plenty of already. And the two
instances of Genki Apocalypse don't even measure up to the better SERC
events. The Genki Apocalypse layouts are a bit labyrinthine, and
although Saints Row: The Third manages to make a surprisingly wide range
of activities enjoyable, maze navigation isn't one of them. Failing an
event not because you were shot one too many times by a guy in an energy
drink costume but because you failed to find the exit before time ran
out is no way for a Saint to go down.
After
completing your first Genki Apocalypse event, you're invited to take
advantage of a Super Ethical PR Opportunity. Here, you must drive the
psychopathic professor himself to a public appearance. Professor Genki's
ride, the Genki Mobile, is especially effective at mowing down
pedestrians, and it sports flamethrowers on the front and sides. These
features come in handy, because Genki is a demanding passenger. In
addition to keeping him away from the overzealous fans who try to swarm
around you, you must appease him by causing a tremendous amount of death
and destruction before delivering him to his destination.
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